Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Be Nice

I am not a very neat person. So I really don't have seizures or anything when my kids have toy explosions in the living room, or decide that it's a good idea to eat popcorn in my bed.
I am, however, a reasonably nice and polite person. So it stands to reason that all my kids should be the model of affability right?
Not so much.
Astoria is... well, (how do I say this nicely?) A bully? A terribly violent and sadistic bully?
No day is complete without an episode involving Astoria grabbing Elliot by the hair, pulling her down to the ground, ripping the toy she was playing with out of her hands, then run away top speed. This is not a joke, nor an exaggeration.

Maybe it's a middle child thing? I don't know.

I know that at times I put some unrealistic expectations on her. I mean she is, after all, only two. But because of the fact that she is so ridiculously smart, I sometimes forget that she is not the same age as Elliot. For example, Astoria is obsessed with letters. OBSESSED. Her favorite song is the ABC song, she reads every letter she sees no matter where we are, and she can even read a couple words by sight (to, we, me, go, and jump). It's pretty amazing. But even though she has the literacy skills of a four-year old, her emotional level is still definitely TWO.

So we've tried time-outs, spankings, taking away privileges (like toys and treats). Nothing seems to be sinking in. All I can really hope for at this point is that is just a phase, and that someday her, uh... assertiveness will turn into positive adult traits, like confidence and determination. But as for now, i'm just trying to figure out ways to keep her from getting us kicked out of nursery (again) or the play room at the gym (again).



  1. Ummmm yeah... good luck with that!

  2. that was MY elyott....which by the way I never realized was your daughter's name too :) (though I really wished I didn't spell it with a "y"...what a "Utah" thing to do) ANyway, she was and probably always will be a little sassafras. But after year four, she really started to use those traits to good. Her drama has turned a little more toward empathy. She stills throws more tantrums than my four year old son, but she so aware and thoughtful of the things and people around her. The best big sister! Kindergarden worked wonders on her temperament.

    good luck

  3. My middle child screams like a banshee. It finally went away when I figure out that completely ignoring him until he spoke softly did the trick. Unfortunately, you can't ignore behavior that hurts other people...

  4. I like that Stori is strong-willed and goes after what she wants, I think this will be an amazing trait for her to have as she gets older and learns/chooses who she is. I know that I don't have kids, so maybe I have no room to say this, but I also think that as she gets older, more rational and able to communicate more fully, she will grow out of this stage more. I also think that Elliot will one day learn how to stand up for herself.

    On a related/ silly note, you and your kids are like fairies, they also LOVE Tinkerbell. It is a well-known fact that Tink can only feel one emotion at a time, because she is soooo small. Perhaps this theory can be applied. (also that sounded way funnier in my head.)

    either way you look at it, i heart you and your kids.

  5. Brittni I really think you are A. brilliant and hilarious, and B. totally right. I don't think anyone would argue the fact that I have fairy children.

  6. The fairy metaphor is brilliant and very funny. Bully only works if you are English. As a grandfather fairy, ( No that doesn't work) As fairy grandfather, try Love and Loyalty drills. A Tea party. Can you see them serving each other? I'll start looking for a Tea set.

  7. P.S. As I was thinking about a Tea Parties for the fairies, a haunting memory from my youth flashed in my mind. My older sister always made me wear a dress and be on my best behavior. A spring activity for the back yard.


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