Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Do I Dare Eat a Peach?

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky 

I just realized that I can count the weeks remaining of my 20's without taking off my shoes. Outwardly, I came to terms with this a long time ago. When asked my age, I usually just say "30" or "almost 30". Might as well get it over and done with. Inwardly, however, it's a different story. You know those dreams where you are supposed to be teaching a class, or giving some kind of big presentation and you are totally and completely unprepared? It feels kind of like that. (Which is bad, but not as bad as the dreams where your teeth fall out. Those dreams can go jump in a lake. A lake of piranhas. Who, I assume, have stronger and more plentiful teeth than I ever do in those lousy dreams)

I am completely aware of how melodramatic I'm being. I also don't care.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

1. Are there things that a person is supposed to do before they are 30? Should I have made a list? I have a good 9 weeks left, so if you have any suggestions of "Things a Person Should Do Before 30" pass those along.

2. I'm curious about something. Does food start to taste more bland as you age? Is that a thing? I made grilled cheese and tomato soup for me and the girls today, which has always been the foremost in winter comfort foods for me. Bland city. I added a good 6 drops of hot sauce and it was rather enjoyable. Am I alone in this?

3. The deer have come down from the mountain into my neighborhood.

For I have known them all already, known them all;
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

4. You know what I just love? Working out, dancing, lifting, walking, all those things. You know what else I love? Truly and deeply? Cake. Brownies. Cookies. Soda. Roast beef with potatoes and gravy. Butter on everything. Why can't I love things like lentils?

5. Is there anything more lovely than this song?

6. Another thing I'm curious about? Do ALL almost-two-year-olds love nothing more in the world than running full speed away from you? Love taking all their clothes and diaper of at least 3 times a day? And hate hate hate sitting down, sitting in a stroller or car seat, and more than anything hate being held in public so they writhe and wriggle and scream out "no! no! no!" so that passers-by assume you are beating and pinching them? Just want to make sure I'm not alone in this either.

Do I dare
Disturb the universe? 

7. Some things I really like: acorns, lampposts, doorknobs and keyholes, wisteria, stone pathways, teacups, lavender, willow trees...

8. The quilt I started for my in-laws in May will not be finished in time for Christmas. Boo.

9. I love Elliot's pictures. She just drew me a picture of a girl robot with hair who ate a bug. Awesome.

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. 

~T. S. Eliot

10. A Care Bear, Peppa Pig, and a little punk.

I was the Green Lantern for Halloween, but didn't get a picture.


  1. When I was in Baltimore this last year, it was raining. I didn't even think about it until just now. And I had a teeth fall out dream a couple of nights ago. It was terrible, but I've come to accept that my teeth are falling out in my dreams. So I wake up and they're still there and I'm not even that relieved. THAT is a sign of moving into an older phase, not finding blandness in grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup (They're pretty bland anyway. I think it's the hot soup/melty cheese and texture of the whole thing that makes it great).

    I think that before you're 30 you should have one more crazy sleepover with me. Oldschool style. Like, let's watch Newsies and drink soda and then sing and dance all over the hotel room beds (where no children will be sleeping). Then we can talk about boys and at one point go to a gas station for nachos and slurpies. We'll watch the sun rise and sleep all day. Later, we can go have crepes and coffee and talk about books and maybe buy some. It's on my "before 30" list. You just let me know when you have some time. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
    Love you

  2. These are not any order of importance. In fact, they are not that important at all. Just a few that were memorable.

    1. Wear cowboy boots with a straight face.
    2. Stay awake for 48 hours
    3. Drive over 120 miles per hour. (not with my grandkids in the car)
    4. Skinny dip in a lake.
    5. Write your own eulogy.
    6. Hitch hike.
    7. Forgive your father.
    8. List what you would give your life for.
    9. Spend a day alone in the woods.
    10. Walk or run 25 miles or more in a day.
    11. Let Papa take your kids to Cabela's.
    12. Plan a trip to Zion's with your father.

    OK, the last two were more personal goals. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

  3. Do not, under any circumstances, hitch hike. That is all. Love Mom

  4. ha! love your mom's comment.

    whoa, counting crows is bringing back high school memories.

    i don't know what you should do before 30 but please do it gracefully so i may follow your example instead of freaking out like my husband did. haha. (but true.)

  5. I do not think that they will sing to me.

    I still have five years till hitting the 3-0. So I'm not sure what you should do, but you've read T.S. Eliot so that's something.

    Lentils are yummy, especially lentil soup. But I also love really fattening foods. And I don't love working out, so it's a problem.


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