The Ninja Quest

Me and my sister-wife. I love this picture.

For the last couple weeks, my darling friend Brittni has been staying with Team Einfeldt. It has been lovely. I like to refer to her as my sister-wife, and I'm terribly disappointed that her sojourn with us is ending. Brittni and I were English majors together, we also worked together for about three years as business and technical writers for a computer education company. Also, she is wonderful and I adore her.

Last night, Coach Blair was telling us about the day's basketball practice, and about a kid on his team who expects to be a starter, but isn't putting in the extra time and effort to be the kind of player he wants to be. "You can't just play for 4 months out of the year and call yourself a basketball player. That's just not how it works. The kids who do well on the team are the gym rats who play because they love it, and play and work on their game whenever they get a free minute." I've heard Blair say things like this a hundred times, but it wasn't until Brittni mentioned something about it later that night that I realized that it applies to me too. "How can we claim to call ourselves writers if we don't actually write?" That Brittni is a smart cookie.

So we have decided to resurrect the Ninja Quest. It is a little silly game we devised a few years back in order to give each other writing prompts, and post them on a little blog. Most of the stuff is, well, it's practice. Meaning it's probably not very good (mine especially) but the point is to just be writing things again. Thanks Coach and Brittni for being so awesome.

p.s. anyone is welcome to be a ninja, if you are in to that kind of thing.

Do I Dare Eat a Peach?

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky 

I just realized that I can count the weeks remaining of my 20's without taking off my shoes. Outwardly, I came to terms with this a long time ago. When asked my age, I usually just say "30" or "almost 30". Might as well get it over and done with. Inwardly, however, it's a different story. You know those dreams where you are supposed to be teaching a class, or giving some kind of big presentation and you are totally and completely unprepared? It feels kind of like that. (Which is bad, but not as bad as the dreams where your teeth fall out. Those dreams can go jump in a lake. A lake of piranhas. Who, I assume, have stronger and more plentiful teeth than I ever do in those lousy dreams)

I am completely aware of how melodramatic I'm being. I also don't care.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

1. Are there things that a person is supposed to do before they are 30? Should I have made a list? I have a good 9 weeks left, so if you have any suggestions of "Things a Person Should Do Before 30" pass those along.

2. I'm curious about something. Does food start to taste more bland as you age? Is that a thing? I made grilled cheese and tomato soup for me and the girls today, which has always been the foremost in winter comfort foods for me. Bland city. I added a good 6 drops of hot sauce and it was rather enjoyable. Am I alone in this?

3. The deer have come down from the mountain into my neighborhood.

For I have known them all already, known them all;
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

4. You know what I just love? Working out, dancing, lifting, walking, all those things. You know what else I love? Truly and deeply? Cake. Brownies. Cookies. Soda. Roast beef with potatoes and gravy. Butter on everything. Why can't I love things like lentils?

5. Is there anything more lovely than this song?

6. Another thing I'm curious about? Do ALL almost-two-year-olds love nothing more in the world than running full speed away from you? Love taking all their clothes and diaper of at least 3 times a day? And hate hate hate sitting down, sitting in a stroller or car seat, and more than anything hate being held in public so they writhe and wriggle and scream out "no! no! no!" so that passers-by assume you are beating and pinching them? Just want to make sure I'm not alone in this either.

Do I dare
Disturb the universe? 

7. Some things I really like: acorns, lampposts, doorknobs and keyholes, wisteria, stone pathways, teacups, lavender, willow trees...

8. The quilt I started for my in-laws in May will not be finished in time for Christmas. Boo.

9. I love Elliot's pictures. She just drew me a picture of a girl robot with hair who ate a bug. Awesome.

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. 

~T. S. Eliot

10. A Care Bear, Peppa Pig, and a little punk.

I was the Green Lantern for Halloween, but didn't get a picture.

And I said Hey. What's going on

"When I'm a stay-at-home mom I'll have plenty of time to blog." - FALSE.

So if not blogging, what exactly have I been up to these past few weeks? Other than accidentally leaving comments on people's blogs while still signed in as my husband?

1. Unholy amounts of laundry. Where are all these clothes coming from? Dear everyone who is teleporting your dirty clothes into my laundry baskets: that is so weird. You should really stop doing that.

2. Hanging out with the world's most radical five-year old.Is she kind of a little bit of a tom-boy? Maybe. But I prefer to think of it as a girl who likes awesome things like superheroes, Harry Potter, and Star Wars, in addition to awesome things like gymnastics, soft toy animals, and pink things. Recently she drew me a picture of a scene from Thor. Complete with Frost Giants, a feast for Odin and Thor and all their friends, and a battle on the Rainbow Bridge (the Bifrost). The last book she checked out from the library was a Norse Mythology book. Yes. I am rather proud of her, thanks for asking.


3. Loving but also hating my hair. Here's the thing, it's long. Like really, really long. Most of the time I love it. Except when it's my 6th Zumba class of the week, it's a disgusting sweaty mess, and I think "what, you mean I have to go and wash AND dry AND do something with all this? No. that is garbage. I'm going to destroy it with kitchen shears in about 4 seconds." Then I come to my senses and realize that if I chop my hair off before the new year, my Christmas card photo will be a lie.

See? It's long. And please excuse the lack of makeup. It's a weekday.

4. Reading too many books; on my own and with the girls, but that is okay.

5. Preparing for Octoberpocalypse. That magical stretch that involves an anniversary, a birthday (Astoria), Halloween (and it's, like, 12 accompanying Zumba parties. guh.), and the return of basketball season for Blair (Bye Coach. See you in February.)

Rou brings me a shoe - "Deedle deedle deedle SHOOOOO??" As soon as the shoe is on - "Deedle deedle Buh-bye!!" Because, obviously, shoes = going buh-bye.

All the Fall Things

Elliot and I are equally excited about Kindergarten. I'm not a cry-on-the-first-day kind of mom. Not because I won't miss her (How can I? It's only 3 hours. I can barely get laundry and a Battlestar Galactica episode in that time) but because I know she is hardcore loving it.

I know that the cool thing to do is to downplay things like this (I'm also aware that it's going to make me sound like one of those moms that you just want to punch in the face) but gosh dangit! How did I get landed with such freaking brilliant kids?! Given the fact that she is so very young and so very tiny, I'm not trying to integrate her into a first grade class or anything, but that's not to say she couldn't handle it. Luckily, her teacher is the mamma of a dear English major friend of mine from college, and is sending Elliot home with 2nd grade level books to read for homework, and doing all the other amazing things that are so rare in NCLB schools. (And don't even get me started on NCLB. It makes me want to kick trees.)

Preschool totally caught me off guard, as you can see by Astoria's ever so fashionable hairstyle.

This kid on the other hand? I have no idea what to do with her. She reads all the books Elliot brings home. (She is 3. No, I'm not kidding. Ask my mom.)  And the blue faced doll dangling by her side is George, named after Peppa's little brother from her very most favorite show, Peppa Pig. It's adorable. And the little Brittish accent Astoria's adopted because of it? The best thing ever.

 

And Miss Rou? She's still the best snuggler a mamma could ever ask for. She also has taken her "deedle-dee" language to the next level: Winnie-the-Pooh - "Deedle-dee-Pooh?" Hi daddy - "Hi deedle-dee!"  I want a drink of juice - "Deedle-deedle-deedle-SHOO!" I want to wear this pink coat - "Deedle-deedle-deedle-deh?" (and my personal favorite) Yes - "SHEEEAAAAYYY!!"




For going into the kitchen to retrieve my camera, I deserve a prize. So I'm going to eat one of these dark chocolate pomegranate candies and not even feel bad about it.

Tuesday Confessional

(Confession inspiration via Katie my darling)


1. I honestly believed in my heart that being home instead of at work would allow me to blog more often. Such is not the case. Sorry, Charlies.

2. I love TV shows, but hate hate hate TV. I would like to enjoy my Battlestar Galactica without commercials and on my own schedule, please. I would rather my kids enjoy Super Why and Backyardigans without all the other crap being shoved in their innocent little faces. Another thing about TV I can't stand. Freaking ESPN. In summation: The hard drive is filling up quickly, but basic cable has been cancelled. Thank the gods.

3. On the subject of TV, I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I am totally looking forward to the return of Community, Fringe, 30 Rock and Mad Men (in early 2012), and am excited to check out Alcatraz. See Katie? You're totally not alone.

4. I've been eating Greek Yogurt lately. I like the Greek Gods brand because it has the names of different Gods on each flavor. Hera = Fig, Poseidon = Plain, etc. But i'll admit it's ever so slightly bothersome that the pomegranite flavor is associated with Apollo. Persephone makes more sense, am I right?

5. Have I ever mentioned how much I like mythology? Well. I do.

6. Despite my love for mythology I'm having an incredibly difficult time getting through Neil Gaiman's American Gods. I'm aware of the fact that i'm an annoying prude. Whatever. You can judge, I don't care. World War Z didn't bother me in the slightest, though. What's that supposed to say about my personality I wonder.

7. I was going to post pictures of Elliot and Astoria on their first days of school, but my camera is in the kitchen.

8. Newest obsession: Salted Caramel anything.

9. Still on pace to complete 45 books by the end of the year, but still behind on my goal to finish the Einfeldt quilt for my in-law's by Christmas. Solution: more audio books.

10. I do not find Daniel Craig attractive in the slightest.

The Best BFF

I'm pretty lucky when it comes to friends. Even more so to have a friend with whom I can share memories like these:

• Playing Power Rangers on the trampoline causing one of us (me) to break an arm.
• Making candlelight potions out of different kinds of soda in a walk-in closet (Candles lit in a closet. Brilliant idea.)
• Going to a concert in Florida with every intention of making out with Incubus, but instead meeting a future husband (hers).
• Panhandling with our guitars at gas stations.
• Stuffing our bras with toilet paper and then going to a church activity.
• Holding hands in bookstores, and ordering appetizers and desserts.
• Performing a play we made up about Greek goddesses to impress the boys we met at the mall. (Totally worked too)
  
• That one very foggy New Years...

 It also just so happens that my BFF is probably the most naturally talented at everything human person on the planet. Kinda makes you want to hate her, (which I've done) but then, she is forced to have a BFF who is an insufferable know-it-all who is so nerdy it's embarrassing. It all balances out.

This summer, my BFF (who, along with her husband, just happens to be a very amazing International Wedding Photographer) was sweet enough to take a few family pictures, pro bono. I like to think of it as friends with benefits, only the benefits are actually awesome. Here is just a little taste of her awesomeness.

Oh and did I also mention that she spent the summer in Paris and brought me back a beautiful scarf from Bordeaux? Like I said. Benefits.

Well hellooo there, Internet

I'm well aware that I'm not the only one who's posts slow down in the summer. And like those others, I have plenty of good reasons. Perhaps even ten reasons? Maybe not, but we'll give it go, eh?

Ten Things from the Summer of 2011

1. I have officially graduated to the glamorous life of a stay-at-home mamma. It is lovely. I'm amazed at how much time I have to actually get things done. With my husband's fancy new job as a middle-school English/Spanish teacher (we are super posh, aren't we?) we have been getting the kids in bed before 10:00 p.m. and eating dinner together almost every night (Zumba still muddles that one up a bit). This is the life. But it does kind of put a damper on the blogging. About 90% of my previous blog posts were written at work in the down time between projects.

2. On July 28, just 7 days shy of her 104th birthday, my amazing great-grandmother Mary Lou Jones finished her time on this earth. Saying that she was an incredible person doesn't even begin to describe it. I wish I had Dumbledore's pensive so that I could see just a few of her memories.

Me (and the gestating Astoria) Great-Grandma Jones, Elliot, Grandma Mary Louise, and My dad, Roger

3. My husband has an amazing friend who just happens to work for JetBlue. Thanks to our dear Uncle Rico I was able to fly to Oregon to attend my great-grandma's funeral and celebrate her life with my family. Blair and the girls stayed home, I missed them terribly but loved having a little alone time. (Who am I kidding, part of me never wanted to come home.) And yes, while in The Dalles I did go to Burgerville, had a Tillamook cheeseburger, walla-walla onion rings, and a fresh raspberry lemonade. AWESOME.

4. I've also been reading like a hungry wolf who devours books instead of small children (or something). I've read a few stinkers and some amazing ones as well. The highlight of my summer reading adventure? The audiobook of Tina Fey's Bossypants.

5. Blair insisted that we have one last hurrah before the summer came to a close and he started his new job. So instead of going to Lake Powell with his family (I love his family, but hate-hate-hate lake powell), we  skipped down to California. I swear we should probably just buy yearly passes to Disneyland. It'd probably be cheaper. Although it helps that our kids look so little, it helps when sneaking them in when we probably should have bought them tickets. Oh well

6. Elliot would like me to add, though, that this was the first year she was able to go on some big kid rides. We are still hearing all about how great Splash Mountain and Star Tours was. By the way, they changed up Star Tours and it is REALLY cool.

7. Astoria is too smart for everything. Except using the toilet.

8. Rou has attempted to break my sewing machine twice in the past week. Yesterday I took out some screws and pulled of the front to find the spool holder, 5 potato chips, a pretzel, 2 straight pins, and a piece of a graham cracker.

9. Did you know that all the Zumba classes in the world will not help you lose weight if you insist on drinking, like, five sodas a day and eating pizza in bed 3 times a week (talking about myself here) I'm just sayin'.

10. Elliot starts Kindergarten in 7 days. This is epic.


Please excuse the lack of pictures. I'll make it up to you. I promise. But not with cookies. It's too fracking hot to bake cookies.